Good and Dead
before the wall hit me
i
held up my hands
believed so hard
believed so long
so sweetly
so completely
and what’s this
now?
this ragged thing
slipping
through
my
fingers?
but the adolescent rush
was
a rushing ruse
a pantomime
just a flashmob
of fake forevers
with a shepherd
selling sheepskin
on the sly
i remember what it was like
i cannot forget
Strength
they told me
I would
“tear the church in half”
Oh thank you
Thank you
for telling me
I didn’t see
how much power
was in me
ezer kenegdo*
“your desire is for his position”
this, you said, was Truth
of course
you’d think
i’d want
your power
because the clamoring
and the chorus
was designed to be
constantly chasing
you
but i knew something better then
and i know it deeper now
i stand
as a mirror
because none can see
himself
without another
to reflect
him back
you stood above and said i could
but only with permission
you said “go ‘head”
and that i should
with proper
supervision
so goodbye goodbye
roughshod goodbye
i guess
that’s all that it could be
i was sad and sorry
to see it die
but
now i stand here
free
my desire was
never
for your position
i never wanted you
just like you
only wanted me
for what you hoped
i’d do
but now i’m breathing
now in liberty
forever disillusioned
fully faithful
me
a stretched skin
a mighty mess
much taller than before
let it burn
may the ashes rise
to lift others
off the floor
